Losing

[loquacious]

Work has been eating me of late. I've been taking as many hours as possible so I can save up as much as possible. I still really want to move away from here, but I can't seem to get the motivation to apply for schools or get myself together. I feel like a huge loser, I don't know anyone here so I spend the majority of my time home alone when I'm not at work.

One of the adorable high schoolers I work with was way to perky at 7am yesterday and asked all of us how we spent our weekends. I didn't work last weekend, so I didn't have that excuse for not going out and doing anything fun. Everyone else hung out with people, I sat at home and... well, I RPed. I don't feel comfortable telling the people I work with about that. I don't know if I could put my finger on why. 90% of the time I don't give a shit what other people think about me. But the other 10% really gets to me.

I'm a fairly shy person, and my tastes are fairly unusual. My parents aren't very social people, and I guess I just never picked up the skills to make friends with random people. It's days like this when I really wish I had.

Sorry for the bitching, I obviously have no one I can unload some of this to in person.

Comments

[wonderseal]

What is your journal for if not explaining what is going on in your life. Don't apologize!

And I don't have any words of advice since the friends I've made since moving to Seattle are all built-in friends (people I knew from RP) so... Going out and meeting people on my own hasn't happened. BUT it isn't forever! And maybe just try to do what you can at the moment.

♥

[loquacious]

Thanks, hon. ♥ Hopefully I will be able to move out there soon.

[corinthian]

JOURNALS ARE FOR WHATEVEVER YOU WANT THEM FOR. BITCH AWAY!!!!!!


Also, I know the feeling. I had a very very very compartmentalized social group up until relatively recently and would often make up little white lies to placate both groups — or do what I had to to think I was. So. It's stressful and kind of ick. But! Do what makes you feel comfortable!

[loquacious]

It's not that I'm lying to them, I'm just not telling them everything I do with my social life. But I don't mind that as much as feeling like I SHOULD be lying about my social life.

[corinthian]

Hm. I mean, I've been there, and I've lied. But in the end I think you should just do what you feel most personally comfortable with! Sometimes you can get surprised too, though ♥